Mother's Day

As I tucked DB in to bed last night, he asked if I could stay and talk with him for a minute. We were talking about random things and then he asked what he was supposed to do for me on Mother's Day. This prompted me to tell him abuot my very first Mother's Day. His birthday.

I was scared to death. Special circumstances aside, I assume it is that way for many, if not all, mommies to be. So much responsibility, so much worry, guilt, pressure....just so much. I had a 3 month boot camp on mommy-hood. We had around the clock training by a specialized nursing staff. Training on HOW to do everything from changing diapers to feeding to changing dressings/tubing, bathing around the equipment, massage (only for him, unfortunately...) and many other things.

That training didn't take away any of the worry/guilt/pressure but it DID make me more confident in taking care of him when we made it home. And we DID make it home. We survived. I am still learning a lot about that experience. We are actually still in a mommy-hood boot camp. Every day, I learn new things about how to take care of my little munchkins. Each one is different and each one has taught me something new. I don't think that the worry/guilt/pressure will ever go away (anyone? anyone? have you managed to snuff that stuff out??) but as I work through it every day, we all get closer to "making it home."

Just as when we were in the hospital, our whole goal now is to Make It HOME. It isn't easy, and there are setbacks which sometimes seem devastating. There are daily achievements that seem so insignificant but can carry a lot of weight if appreciated appropriately. Being a mom is the most rewarding/aggravating/inspiring/ soul crushing/amazing job there is. C.S. Lewis said "The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only - and that is to support the ultimate career." I have chosen the ultimate career. It didn't choose me. Somewhere inside of me, I knew that I could do this, and I hang on to that knowledge every day (usually right before I want to wring some necks!)

I am so grateful to all the mommies I have had in my life. My Mom, Mom-in-Law, Grandma P, Grammy and even friends and relatives that have inspried me to be better. It is interesting that as we all just go along doing our best, we have the capacity to inspire others without even knowing it! How grateful I am to each of you for just doing your best. That is all we can do and that is all that God has asked us to do. While I have been a bit nervous to go to church today to hear about amazing moms and all they accomplished/are accomplishing, I promise myself that I will be proud of what I am accomplishing too. My children are healthy, happy and have little budding testimonies. They love each other and they love me. They are respectful and kind, patient and forgiving, funny, smart, thoughtful, and charming, although MAYBE not all in the same breath! They ARE still kids after all!!

I am an imperfect mom, but I am the perfect imperfect mom for my kids, and they are the perfect imperfect kids for me and we are all working on making it home together.